Less than ten postings and I've already collected enough hatemail to give it it's own page. I will add to this continuously - so feel free to check back in regularly for a good read. Oh and if you hate me - good news! Here's your outlet!
Dear XXXXX,
It’s official; you are wasting your life. I’m so happy that I cosigned your student loans, clearly you are putting your top of the line education to good use. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell your father about your website because reading it would kill him.
Ps: Remember Ronda from St. Mathews? The one with the Thyroid malfunction? Well, she met a wonderful man at Safeway and they just bought a neat house in the new development behind Lowe’s. It’s at the end of a real nice cul-de-sac and wouldn’t you know it, soon as they signed the deed she had a bun in the oven! She doesn’t have to work at Arctic Circle anymore I’ll tell you that! In case you are wondering, yes, she still has a wispy beard. Food for thought, I hope.
Don’t forget that your room is ready and waiting whenever you come to your senses.
Love,
Mom.
I don’t think there’s any need for me to elaborate or respond to this one do you?
Hello CG,
You are such a miserable bitch. No wonder you haven’t been promoted yet I’ll bet everyone at your office hates you and your above it all attitude. You think your so hot!! I’ll bet you are a fat ugly. I bet your parents are proud because it’s obvious that you are a nasty little tramp. I hope somebody pusses you in front of a train the next time you try to photograph some poor unsuspecting commuter who didn’t dress cool enough for you. BITCH!!! Who do you think you are?????
Marissa Greene
Ok, Marissa is obviously some kind of psychic because her letter arrived within hours of my Mother’s. How did she know my parents would be so ashamed? It’s spooky! How did she know I am a “fat ugly”? Damn it, she exposed me completely! I have spent the last hour looking through my fashion disasters page wondering which one is Marissa – I mean, could there be any other explanation? But most of all, thank you Marissa for teaching me the new verb “pusses” I am already dreaming of fun ways to use it in a sentence.
